Sunday, March 29, 2009

growing

if havent said so already.. i got into LOWELL! :) &really proud of myself for that accomplishment :]but asides from that, i found out my boyfriend, chris got into ucla &im soo very proud of him. :) i know that'll he do really well there and be successful from ucla. the hard thing is knowing that he'll be really far away. i cant think about it now because its not happening till the end of september. when he leaves, i wont be able to see him every weekend or text him when i want and get a reply. but i have to understand that its not always about me. &especially between me and him. i dont really wanna worry about this now but i dont want to not be ready for when that day comes because if i dont think about it till it actually happens then i think it'll hurt more compared to if i think about it now &get used to it. i always miss him but when he's LITERALLY further away, it seems to hurt more.. the feeling of not having him close sorta hurts.

we've gone through so much &i think that when he goes college and i go highschool, it'll be like a growing step in our relationship. that even though we may be far from each other that it doesnt affect the relationship between us. it'll stay strong no matter where either of us are. 4 years is a long time, but i can wait that long ;) not having him through highschool as much as i want him to be around is okay. he'll always be back for breaks & stuff. and if i really needed him and i was dying, i'd call him or if he gets a webcam, i'll see him there (:

i dont know why but i cant wait for the future. im living life as it is now but i wanna see what happens.. its like waiting for your dream to actually happen cause you know how you always have that dream of growing up &how it'll be? well thats what i wanna see, what my future will look like.. its sorta exciting actually that we're all growing up & becoming more independent. :) i like being able to do anything & going out more and what not :] its always fun! when i get older though, i'll be able to go out even more (: exciting.:) hahah.

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