Wednesday, December 09, 2009

the coming

so ive been thinking a lot about everything lately. school, relationships, etc & everything has been concerning me. all the work given , family and friends. its been crazy for me. but the thing i have been thinking about the most is my relationship. god has placed my boyfriend in my life for a reason. & ive heard him talk about what god has been doing and all that good stuff. hes really been pouring himself out to me about god more than usual. && i think this is the best thing that could happen. his passion for god encourages me and inspires me to have that strong passion too. its honestly a struggle to be all gung ho 24/7. but i need to give my time to him daily. i think chris has just been so helpful with that and helping me keep my walk strong, firm and growing. i cant wait till hes back too! its only been 2 weeks. but it has been soo long! ): we havent really talked but i understand. he's busy & i just have to let him be.. i miss him . :\

soo the thing i really think we need to think about more is " waiting for that day. " we cant wait till our loved one comes home and we miss them so much that we dont know what to do. why cant we do that with our relationship with god ? we never know when hes coming and were already in the 3rd week of advent. christmas is almost here. the coming !!: ) i wish we could all just have that "excitement" within us when were waiting for our loved ones & god.

Tuesday, December 08, 2009

i remember.

yes i miss you guys :( good picture !:)

aww i love them :) <3

oh marc.. i see you too much now ! hahaha :) jk !

just one more week ..

after this week & the one right after , it'll be winter break . & i'll be very very happy . no more stress & a lot more fun. through it all though, i wish that there was just something that'd overjoy me more than anything.

my eyes been messed up ): and ive been hoping it'd get better but it just turned worse :\ sigh sigh sigh .. the weather nowadays in sf is just too cold for me to handle ! ive been freezing everynight now !): not the most fun either. highschool has been okay. i dont think its actually HIT me that im in highschool. hahaha its sorta weird still.

theres a reason for everything and i just wish i knew the reason for something right now. things have been hard at times but i manage to deal with everything happening. i think this week , even though it hasnt finished could be summed up into one word - insecurity. for the past few weeks, in sunday school we started learning about why we label or why we feel the insecurity within outselves? & i think this really relates to my life right now. when were insecure, we find someway to make us feel comfort & love. honestly i do feel somewhat insecure at times, but then again i feel independent and that i can live my on my own. i feel like i can , but truthfully i dont want to...

ive been learning that the words i say should be chosen carefully. slow to speak. quick to listen. i just wish i did that more often. i hope the retreat during winter break will be my wake up call. that something different needs to happen in me next year. what am i doing wrong that will make things right ? 3 of my pretty good friends are going retreat this year & i really hope they all get something out of it. i really pray they do. & that they'd open up their hearts to what gods trying to tell them. hes the only way. i really hope this is the retreat where sisters&brothers in christ pour out their hearts & they wont feel like they have to hold back ..

CHRISTMAS IS COMING !:) only 17 more days !