Tuesday, December 08, 2009

just one more week ..

after this week & the one right after , it'll be winter break . & i'll be very very happy . no more stress & a lot more fun. through it all though, i wish that there was just something that'd overjoy me more than anything.

my eyes been messed up ): and ive been hoping it'd get better but it just turned worse :\ sigh sigh sigh .. the weather nowadays in sf is just too cold for me to handle ! ive been freezing everynight now !): not the most fun either. highschool has been okay. i dont think its actually HIT me that im in highschool. hahaha its sorta weird still.

theres a reason for everything and i just wish i knew the reason for something right now. things have been hard at times but i manage to deal with everything happening. i think this week , even though it hasnt finished could be summed up into one word - insecurity. for the past few weeks, in sunday school we started learning about why we label or why we feel the insecurity within outselves? & i think this really relates to my life right now. when were insecure, we find someway to make us feel comfort & love. honestly i do feel somewhat insecure at times, but then again i feel independent and that i can live my on my own. i feel like i can , but truthfully i dont want to...

ive been learning that the words i say should be chosen carefully. slow to speak. quick to listen. i just wish i did that more often. i hope the retreat during winter break will be my wake up call. that something different needs to happen in me next year. what am i doing wrong that will make things right ? 3 of my pretty good friends are going retreat this year & i really hope they all get something out of it. i really pray they do. & that they'd open up their hearts to what gods trying to tell them. hes the only way. i really hope this is the retreat where sisters&brothers in christ pour out their hearts & they wont feel like they have to hold back ..

CHRISTMAS IS COMING !:) only 17 more days !

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